A woman’s response of “I have a boyfriend”, for example is taken as a challenge rather than as as soft no; PUAs are supposed to assume that this boyfriend is a fake and will mysteriously disappear when he’s demonstrated his higher value.
In practice what happens is that you end up getting men who are demonstrating that they are poorly socially calibrated and uncomfortably aggressive – suggesting that not only are they going to be shit in bed, but they’re potentially dangerous.
One of the oldest canards – something I’ve written about before, in fact – is the idea that women don’t like sex, especially casual sex, as much as men do.
It’s the subject of many a heated debate, the punchline to hacky comedians’ jokes and the background noise in movies and sitcoms since pretty much forever.
Many PUAs who practice day game – that is, making cold approaches during the day in public venues instead of at night in a bar or club – will physically impose themselves in front of a woman in order to make her stop to talk to them and do a little dance to keep her from walking away.
Others will consciously ignore soft no’s and refusals in the name of getting a woman’s number.
Part of the DNA of the PUA scene are the idea of the “bitch shields” and “shit tests” – that women are continually trying to weed out “the unworthy” by being dismissive, rude or trying to make men jump through their hoops.
Because these are “tests”, PUAs are encouraged to ignore them or fire back with something suitably “alpha” in order to pass; by doing so he is supposedly showing his social value is higher than hers and thus increasing her interest in him.
By all reasonable measurements, this should have affected the results – after all, nightclubs and bars are locations where the social contract encourages approaching strangers and looking to hook up for the night.Interestingly, the results were almost women were refusing casual sex.Was it simply a matter of a lack of interest, or were there other factors involved?This rather neatly puts a stake in the heart of many of the evo-psych arguments about who’s biologically programmed to want sex; as soon as the social and safety factors are eliminated, the difference in interest for casual sex is negligible.Of course, this is in a laboratory setting, which by its nature is going to affect the answers.