The consequence of unchecked privilege — racial, gender, economic or beauty — is entitlement.But, a side effect of being sidelined is an opportunity for ingenuity and grace.Make no mistake, beauty is a currency, but it is merely one of many social currencies.I recognize the strength and sensuality of my curves. I laugh like a drunken sailor, and meet people with an open heart.Previous research has found that couples who met through the context of dating were more likely to be equally attractive than couples who were friends first – in the latter scenario, people rated as, for example, a three out of ten ended up marrying a seven out of ten. When we online date, all the people we end up talking to are those we’ve met in the context of dating.It’s because people’s personalities really do impact how attractive you personally find a person – meaning that you’ll be more open to dating them than you were when you first met them. We’ve already swiped left on anyone we deem to be less attractive than us, and as a result the only matches that really occur are between people of similar levels of physical attractiveness. Add to that the rumours – unconfirmed, but they seem unlikely – that Tinder prioritises the users you see based on the number of right swipes they get (which seemingly show how attractive someone is), and effectively matches people of similar attractiveness on their behalf, and it’s becoming clear that it’s now very, very difficult to get to find someone attractive over time. This isn’t just a bad thing for those who are hoping to land someone hotter than themselves. It’s just that we might be missing out on loads of people who we’d end up fancying over time, because we’re too quick to swipe left on anyone who doesn’t seem attractive at first glance.
That’s the real secret “average-looking” women know: Unreturned advances aren’t the end of the story.
They’re the stepping stone toward finding whatever it is we ultimately desire.
The online dating site OK Cupid have disclosed that people who post the most beautiful profile pictures are less likely to receive dates than people with more down-to-Earth looks.
I worry less about pretense or maintaining some mystique, and if a suitor doesn’t get me, I can chalk it up to math.
The odds might be against me, but that doesn’t mean I don’t deserve to play the game.